Ways to Update Wedding Traditions

Some can seem old hat, whilst others stand the test of time. But wedding traditions are the cornerstones of a wedding day. They are what sets a wedding apart from any other part. They are one of the things that make a wedding day extra special. While you might want to find ways to update wedding traditions for your special day, your decision needs careful thought and planning.

Many modern couples want to put a new spin on wedding traditions. Giving old customs new interpretations and putting their stamp on the day’s format. Here, we caught up with Emma Birch, Senior Wedding and Events Co-ordinator at Whirlow Brook Hall, who has seen firsthand how wedding traditions have evolved over the years. She shares her ideas on how to nod to the old, while bringing in the new. Here is her guide on ways to update wedding traditions:

THE INVITATION

Modern technology and innovative thinking could signify the end of traditional wedding stationery. Social media, email invitations, or a bespoke website are fantastic ways to invite guests. They are eco-friendly and often cheaper too.

Some guests, however, do enjoy the thrill of receiving a postal invitation. It serves as a physical reminder for those forgetful individuals who often ask you to remind them of the date. You know who you are! For many, especially older generations, it makes the day feel more special, too.

Many of my wedding couples like to combine the two. A creative wedding invitation, such as a giant cupcake iced with the happy couple’s name and wedding day details printed onto the box. A chocolate invitation iced with the details. And for one festive wedding we held, the couple designed a simple glass bauble in a pretty silk-lined box. The bauble was embossed with the couple’s name, wedding date, and a website address, along with a password. Here, guests could find out more about the big day. The couple loved this, as it brought together both the new and the old.

THE STEN DO

Whilst some couples still love the idea of a separate stag and hen party, there is a significant rise in Sten (a combination of stag and hen) parties. It’s a joint party is a brilliant way to bring together all the wedding guests ahead of the big day, and a perfect update on tradition. Not only will everyone meet each other ahead of the wedding, but they’ll also be able to exchange stories at the wedding from the legendary Sten do. We’ve hosted many Sten parties at Whirlow Brook Hall. Everything from activity days with gin and beer tasting (extremely popular) to elegant pre-wedding dinners that offer a more refined celebration has proven a success.

THE WEDDING DAY MORNING

What could be more intimate and romantic than waking up with the one you love on your wedding day? Having a gorgeous breakfast in bed together, knowing that in just a few hours you’ll be vowing to spend the rest of your lives with one another. The tradition of not seeing each other dates to when couples didn’t live together. However, it’s a rarity in 2025 for couples not to have lived with one another pre-wedding. It’s also true that many opt to stay at a hotel together the night before. We utilise the beautiful rooms at Kenwood Hall Hotel & Spa for this purpose. So why not enjoy the morning together and get ready as a couple? However, in a nod to tradition, our ready room also allows the bride or groom to put the final touches to their attire in private, leaving a little surprise for their partner at the ceremony.

THE RING BEARERS

Little ones make for a brilliant photo opportunity as traditional wedding ring bearers. They offer those touching moments that bring a tear to the eye. It’s refreshing, though, to have somebody who loves you and knows you inside out to bear the rings on the day. In a nod to updating the tradition, some people allocate the duty to a much-loved pet. However, it’s essential to make a contingency plan for who will look after them after the ceremony. We’ve seen a few dogs acting as paw-fect ring bearers at Whirlow Brook Hall. So cute!

If they are not ring bearers, there are plenty of ways still to involve children in the rest of the day. A song, music recital or poetry reading, for instance. These are particularly special when read with a family member from the older generations, such as a grandparent.

THE BRIDESMAID DRESSES

Bridesmaids come in all shapes, sizes, colours, and styles. It’s a bit like my shoe collection! And so, couples have come to realise that dressing them in something that suits their unique sense of style, rather than matching designs, works best. Many approach this with the idea of putting together a collection of dresses that complement one another and those wearing them.

The key is to choose a colour palette and keep certain elements similar. For example, Grecian-inspired floaty dresses, but in an array of colours. Or a motive or pattern that features on distinct parts of each dress. Remember, they don’t have to wear your colour scheme from top to toe! If fuchsia pink is in your bouquet and reception colours, consider incorporating it into jewellery, belts, a sash, a scarf, bridesmaids’ flowers, shoes, and more. That ‘solo colour’ emphasis will tie the dress styles together perfectly. And, yes, trouser suits are completely acceptable for bridesmaids and brides!

THE RUNNING ORDER

Who says the first glimpse of the couple must be when they walk down the aisle? Who says you need an aisle at all, for that matter? You can mix up the running order however you’d like on your wedding day. Having a small reception first with drinks and cocktails, then gathering everyone round for the ceremony, makes for a much more relaxed vibe. Many second-time-around couples enjoy a luxury afternoon tea or a family brunch wedding. Why not have your meal first, then say your ‘I dos’ as dusk settles. A wedding under a canopy of twinkling stars, candles, and fairy lights, finishing with dancing till dawn. It couldn’t get much more romantic than that. And as you can hire Whirlow Brook Hall exclusively, you’ll have the freedom to use each space exactly how and when you like. It allows us to accommodate unusual formats perfectly.

THE SPEECHES

Guess what. Girls can deliver brilliant speeches too. Hardly frontpage news in 2025, yet you would be surprised how many couples do still assign the speeches to the male members of the bridal party, even if they’re nervous and not enamoured with the idea of addressing the room.

The Maid of Honour. The Mother of the Bride. The bride herself. I have seen strong, confident women from all walks of life deliver some of the most moving wedding speeches. Often with thoughtful details that a groomsman or the Father of the Bride may not have known. A terrific way to update the tradition of speeches is to keep the mic open and offer up the chance for anyone who wants to say a few words about your love story.

We also see technology play a role here. Some couples create a video montage of their lives and journey together. Played instead of speeches, there’s not a dry eye in the house (or Hall in this case!)

THE BOUQUET TOSS

We do still see brides toss the bouquet for a fun photo moment, but it’s nothing more than that. The days of single ladies battling it out to be the next lucky one to march down the aisle are gone for good. Couples often schedule this element of the day for just before the bride heads off to change outfits for the evening. It’s a great way of signifying that the formal part of the wedding is ending, before the party begins.

THE WEDDING CAKE

A three-tiered fruit cake has long been a tradition, classically because it was a favourite, sturdy, and kept well. A portion of the wedding day would be dedicated to the cutting of the cake: serving the bottom tier to guests, giving the middle tier for them to take away, and saving the top tier for the first anniversary of the newlyweds.

Nowadays, wedding cakes are an art form. For those without a sweet tooth, there are lots of options. Cupcake towers, doughnut walls, cheese towers, and dessert tables are all being favoured over the traditional wedding cake as something more interactive and fun for the guests. There are couples who ditch the ‘cutting of the cake’ portion of the day altogether, as they would rather maintain the flow of the evening.

THE FIRST DANCE 

This is often avoided in favour of inviting all the wedding party onto the dance floor. Unless, of course, you’re one of those couples that sees it as their moment in the spotlight. A number of our couples have delivered superbly choreographed first dances that would be right at home on the set of Strictly.

Others have dance tutors on hand to teach the guests a specific dance that everyone can join in, such as line dancing, the Charleston, or a Caleigh. Nobody seems to mind the shift in emphasis. They are too busy enjoying themselves!

THE SEND-OFF

Most modern couples skip this tradition because they want to stay to the end of the party, not drift away early. However, it is something we’ve seen return to a few weddings recently, albeit a little later in the party than tradition would previously have dictated.

The customary vintage car with tin cans can be a lovely, theatrical send-off for couples who like the limelight. It’s a great way to ensure there are no sore heads the next morning when you wake as a married couple. We saw the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge bring a nice take on this tradition to their wedding; Prince William drove from the ceremony to the after-party in a vintage Aston Martin festooned with ribbons, balloons, and L plates.

IT’S ABOUT YOU

Whether you choose to update wedding traditions or embrace them, it’s a personal decision. Create a special day that suits you.

If you’re a couple that hates dancing, drop the first dance.

If the thought of having a crowd of people watching you cut a cake feels weird, then leave it out of your day.

Or if you can’t find a way to include something blue, then don’t worry.

Adding traditions to your wedding day is only fun if they feel in keeping with your day or you believe in the motivations behind them. Never be afraid to update them or ignore any that you think are outdated.

CONTACT

If you’re planning a wedding and looking for ways to update wedding traditions, we can help. Visit https://whirlowbrook.co.uk/weddings/ for details of our wedding packages and upcoming wedding fayres. Or book an appointment online for a personal tour of historic Whirlow Brook Hall, one of the top wedding venues in Sheffield.

Telephone: 0114 236 6142

Email: enquiries@whirlowbrook.co.uk